I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
