Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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