Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
