just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
bring money and cleavage
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
