I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
