yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
