Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
