so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
