ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
