Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
