white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
