I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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