get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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