Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize