if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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