Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My breasts were aching with rage.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
