where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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