Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
