What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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