what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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