if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
