my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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