This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
