Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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