This girl is more easily done than said...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
