Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I need a beard to bite.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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