I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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