haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's just like the Real World with babies
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
