He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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