Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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