And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
