This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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