wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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