So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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