from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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