dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
