we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
