marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
