We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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