right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
