Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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