I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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