dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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