Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
