I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
