how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
