Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
