It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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