it was like eating out sand paper
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
