summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
