dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
