maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Blood and glitter go together right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
