Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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